Fred owns a busy accountancy practice with very efficient staff and a well run office.
He however he was overwhelmed. He had was taking home his client’s problems leaving him feeling as though he was in a “vortex” or whiriling thoughts and worries. This is classic trauma.
The only way he thought he could cope with this was to drink, which he did at lunchtime, after work and at weekends – in ever increasing amounts.
I used a combination of business coaching around the rule that you “don’t take on the problem if the problem isn’t yours" and added hypnotherapy to break the alcohol habit – job done! Fred is now coping well in his business, has lost weight and no longer drinks. That also saved his marriage which has been on the rocks due to the drinking and general stress overload.
Managers and professionals like accountants, lawyers, doctors and many others are trained in their professions, but the commonsense business management training is often missing. I know because I had to learn this the hard way 20 years ago so I got help from business coaches and consultants that was worth every cent that I spent. and I spent 10 years as a business management consultant before I returned to my true love of getting our minds and bodies to work together.
So often we get overwhelmed, by all the things that we have no control over. What is important is to work out how it happens so you can avoid it in future and how to cope with it.
Working directly with your unconscious mind is the quickest and easiest way to help yourself.
All you need is to JUST IMAGINE so that your unconscious mind understands that:
The problem is over
You are safe
YOU were the one with the power to make the change.
The thing is that when you just imagine and you get right into an imaginary scene in an emotional way, your brain can’t tell the difference between this and reality.
MRI scans of people remembering and also imagining strongly show the same parts of the brain are active.
When you “Just Imagine” you can rewrite your past to change the software in your brain and to defuse that memory.
You can rewrite how you react to a bully or an abuser so then they no longer have any power over you.
If you wake after a nightmare, before you wake up fully, just tell yourself firmly that “that was the wrong ending” and re-write the end so it is helpful to you.
Correcting a nightmare is very important for those people who suffer from stress and trauma related nightmares and flashbacks… although you probably need to call me for help if this happens often.
Remembering in the future sounds weird but elite sports people use this all the time…
Just watch a rugby player going for the kick to convert a try… He has kicked that ball right between the posts long before his foot touches the ball.
Sometimes people feel trapped by the situation they are in, like being strangled in lots of vines and problems?
If you feel trapped and strangled why don’t you try to imagine finding a knife in your pocket and hacking yourself out of those vines, perhaps even piling them up and burning them once you are safety out.
The idea is for YOU to take control and overcome problems.
Ask me for help if you need it – don’t hesitate because you get your life back when you defeat problems.
Anxiety and fear are not your fault…
…but it is YOUR responsibility to heal.
When there are sudden dreadful events or even continual overwork and excessive stress you may become overwhelmed. When this happens, the part of your brain that organises your memories so they can be stored and retrieved easily does not work effectively.
Some memories are not stored, they remain as feelings throughout your body, scattered and able to be easily triggered.
They may also cause pain and illness, like fibromyalgia, cancer and so many others. They may trigger deep and even violent anger. The thing is that anger is a normal healthy protective emotion, but it can get out of control when you are overwhelmed.
There are many of us who have coped over the years with things that were overwhelming, and the present ongoing unpredictability and isolation are triggering those past issues. People talk about a mental health pandemic
The sad or even scandalous thing at present is that politicians and the media have deliberately engendered fear, and that can be one step too far for many.
Just turn the TV and other media off.
All the current fear and negativity seeps into our souls and becomes toxic.
It is normal and even healthy to feel anger towards those who hurt you but you need to be able to deal with this and, in your mind, defeat the person or situation that caused the problem. This is protective anger.
The problem for many people is that their anger was never dealt with at the time and turns inward as victim anger. That was clearly on show at the Women’s Summit when two angry and abused young women turned their anger on the Prime minister. He was NOT their rapist and was merely trying to help. That is sad.
I want to tell you about one lovely client who came to me very overweight, diabetic and stressed.
She had been abused by several men through her childhood and gone on to have two abusive marriages.
I got her to relax first then in deep trance she defeated her abusers!
She told me afterwards that she “put them all in a box and kicked and punched the hell out of them”. And she did! It was very dramatic! It was noisy and her arms and legs were working hard.
She defeated her abusers. And the outcome was incredible.
She came to my door 3 years later and the only thing I recognised was her voice. Slim, no longer diabetic, happily remarried and half way through a degree in sociology.
When you imagine something and feel strong emotion, your brain cannot tell whether it is real or not so her brain “knew” that she had defeated her abusers and it was over. She was able to heal and be the peaceful, happy person she was always meant to be.
If you want to access and resolve your deep stressful and traumatic memories I would love to help you.