There are so many things that create a reaction, and it is worth taking time to ask is this reaction reasonable. Sometimes if we step back and think about why the other person felt that way, we can learn a lot.
This happened here yesterday. Four years ago, I bought a house in a village community and yesterday a contractor came around tidying gardens and pruning. He walked past my place and worked on my neighbours but told me he had been told not to come into my garden.
HMMMM! I was curious and I admit somewhat irritated. I got onto the manager and learned that she thought I wanted to do all my own gardening. So, I stopped and thought. Ok, the day after I moved a guy came into my garden with a chain saw and cut the tree in front of my porch off completely square. I do remember saying I would get it pruned properly next time.
Four years later, I still don’t like things being chopped off completely like that, but help is very welcome, so I needed to take a step back and into the manager shoes. She is busy and I can’t expect her to be psychic.
We need to choose our story about what is happening in the world taking account of how others see their version of the story, because it will always be different. Always choose a story that makes us happy.
I wish I had known this many years ago.