There is a pattern in your life and it is usually pre-set for you by your parents. It carries forward in your choices as an adult… Until you STOP…
… Something happens that shakes you up and sometimes you realise… and you change your mind.
Here I am exposing myself by sharing my pattern. My father said no to my choice to do medicine and decided I must be a teacher. He signed me up on a bonded scholarship but I did manage to do a science degree with nearly all medical subjects..
After teaching for a while I “escaped” and got a job as a tutor in physiology at NSW University where I started doing a Master’s degree in neurophysiology. I married and husband no 1 decided it was ridiculous for me to complete my Master’s degree. He wanted me to go the Far North Queensland with him.
That marriage broke down leaving me with 3 small kids to support so I returned to teaching, back here in Adelaide. I hated it, was bullied and ended up with a nervous breakdown after 13 years.
Along the way I had two more husbands, first to someone who developed paranoid schizophrenia and became dangerous then to a narcissistic bipolar man. I can pick them!
After teaching I went back to University to retrain and although I wanted to use my credits from previous medical subjects to do physiotherapy, podiatry or psychology, my then husband (No. 3) absolutely objected to this so I did marine biology which was my hobby, great fun and fascinating but not the best choice to make a good living.
My pattern is clear
– Being controlled or bullied then rebelling.
– Dad controlled me, then 3 husbands… my brother’s still try to and get very hurt because I am “difficult
I had both breast cancer and PTSD.
I needed to re-program my mind. I stopped and asked myself – what makes my heart sing? So then I went back to my roots – to learn more about how our brain and our body work together. $30-40,000 extra training followed as I also changed my own life. I started with NLP and then Quit Smoking and I was running two separate businesses.
– Quit smoking
– Management systems consulting
As the Quit built up I did more Hypnotherapy training.
Then I discovered a brilliant hypnotic process that defeats the past and heals PTSD quickly without needing to consciously revisit things from the past. This transformed my life
My story means I bring something very special to my work with clients…
…the ability to empathise, to sometimes share little bits of my story.
Clients feel safe sharing things with me that they have often never told anyone– then we can deal with their problems. Overwhelmed clients recognise that I “get it”.
The biggest need every human has is to feel safe! All our emotions are felt and stored throughout our body and if you have been overwhelmed, your whole body is affected, which is why people so often become ill and 70% of illness is caused by stress.
You cannot feel safe unless your body knows that the past problems are over and YOUwere empowered to do this. Then you are safe into the future.
Who is in control of you? 90% of your mind is unconscious and your unconscious mind controls your patterns, your habits and your physiology.
The thing is that your logical conscious mind cannot talk effectively to your body, which is why cognitive therapy takes years and often doesn’t work.
I work with your unconscious mind.
Anxiety, stress, & PTSD happen when you get over whelmed. It may be one horrendous event or may be years of ongoing overload
What ever the cause, the part of your brain that organises memories gets overwhelmed…and calls in help… Then you go into a fight, flight or freeze response.
You need help to recover. The memories of the event are never filed away… so they are always current and can’t be forgotten. Your stress is carried in your entire body. Pills and booze just dull it… They don’t fix it.
I have so many examples of recovery from Trauma. Here is one:-
A young Aussie girl in her early 20 was grabbed from the street, held captive for several days and repeatedly molested on holiday in London. I met her 20 years on when she had breast cancer and had a double mastectomy and huge confidence and body image problems with her marriage on the rocks. She had no treatment or help to recover and her family kept telling her it was not a problem because it was a long time ago.
The past is NEVER over unless you have dealt with it properly.
It was not a surprise that she had PTSD when came to see me. In our first session I worked on her self-confidence so that she recognised just what a strong and resilient woman she was. She had escaped, she had survived, she had stayed in the workforce, married and had kids.
That is real strength.
In session 2, I helped her run a movie scene where she dealt with the past and was able to say or do whatever she wanted to the perpetrator. Then it was over at last and she was the powerful one who had fixed it. We had a third session where she planned a good future, leaving her feeling safe, healthy, confident and happy and the marriage is now good.
Yes, I do follow clients up to check they stay ok.
People who are stressed, anxious or depressed need help. Many times it is just a buildup of ‘stuff” that happens. Or it is often things that happened in childhood that are never talked about that makes them more susceptible to becoming overwhelmed or to being bullied in the future.
The process is the same. You need to know and feel deep inside you that the problem is OVER and YOU had the power to fix it. Then you are SAFE