What happens in the first 7 years of our lives is critical because we are in full time download mode, learning how people behave, talk and think.
Even more important is the time from conception until our first year because this is when our brain is developing. Unborn babies feel the same emotions as their mothers so if mum is stressed or overwhelm, so is baby and this actually causes the part of the brain that files our memories to develop less connections and to be smaller and how we react to stress to become larger.
A traumatised baby or small child grows up much more likely to be anxious and bullied.
The most important thing a child needs to learn is that we live in a safe world.
I want to give you a couple of personal stories.
The first is when I was in my early twenties and first married I lived in Far North Qld. My husband was an exploration geologist who only came home for 36 hours every 2 weeks. Initially I joined him, with my first child and we lived onsite in a caravan until I got pregnant and threatened to miscarry. I needed to be somewhere closer to a hospital
That made sense except that at the time “home” was simply a shack with no phone and 5 miles from the town. When we got there it had been left for several months and was over run with hundreds of rats. My husband had to go back to the fieldwork but he called on a friend with an air pistol. Bryn, the friend, stayed up all night shooting rats with a huge sack of them by morning. The point of this story is that my daughter was born with and continues to have a huge fear of mice and rats even though at the time she was at a very early stage of pregnancy. She learned this fear before birth from me.
The second surfaced while I was still in FN Queensland and was taking my 3 children and 2 of their friends home from kindy. The other kids’ uncle, who was a crop dusting pilot, buzzed my car to give the kids a thrill. It was certainly a thrill because I went into auto mode and when Eric landed I had all 5 kids lying in the ditch while I lay on top of them, shaking like a leaf.
I phoned my parents when I got home and they told me what had happened when I was 18 months old…much too young to remember.
I was born underneath WWII. One day I was in a little chair on the back of my father’s bike when a German plane flew low machine gunning the street. My father threw his bike in one direction while he and I went in the ditch on the other side and lay on top of me.
Oh yes, much too early to remember.
The thing is our emotions are felt and stored in our bodies. I did not consciously remember that incident with Dad at 18 months but I had kept that emotion of fear and the completely automatic response alive and not dealt with for many years. I knew only that I found loud bangs, sirens and low flying planes stressful.
In fact those very rapid automatic reactions are just that – automatic. And they keep us safe. The sight and sound of the low flying plane went straight from my retina and ears to my fight and flight mechanism without me being conscious of it. I did not consciously know what had happened until after the event and Eric landed the plane and came running to see what had happened. I was as mystified as him.
So many people suffering from stress, anxiety, depression and PTSD have stressful or even traumatic early memories they are not aware of although they predispose them to increased stress responses. Probably not as dramatic as mine.
With clients I help them access their unconscious mind to change early memories and reprogram those early fears and emotions. If you, or people you know, get stressed and anxious easily or go over things that happened years ago because those harmful memories were not properly filed at the time, please come and see me. It is crazy to go on suffering. What I do is very different from talk therapy, and it is very effective, often transforming.
I do not need to know the details or to drag up pain from the past. When you are in a deep trance your unconscious mind knows what the problem is and it knows how to sort it out. This does NOT involve regression or timelines, which I regard as dangerous. You do the work yourself once I help you relax into trance.
Let’s just get rid of it. Call me or book straight in for stress relief… either for the treatment or for a 15 minute free consultation.