Our lives have changed, possibly for many years or forever. How much impact that has on us differs so much. It depends on how affected we are by the changes as well as by how resilient we are.
We are all grieving for the loss of life as we used to know it. I was reading an article by a world expert of grief last week and it hit home.
As well as the usual grief responses like anger, sadness, depression, frustration most of us are suffering from anticipatory grief – the feeling of uncertainty about the future.
Our unconscious mind knows something bad is happening, but you can’t see it. It’s out there and we don’t understand. it’s like the scary monster of children’s dreams.
This messes with our sense of safety and we are all feeling that loss of safety to some extent. Hence all the conspiracy theories. The endless news, especially from Victoria and NSW increases those feelings of unease.
The result is that in some way or other we are all working through the stages of grief which affect us all differently.
- .. it won’t affect me;
- .. and we can see that so clearly in the crowds protesting about several different things:
- Then there is bargaining… ok, if I social distance for 2 weeks it will all be ok;
- .. when will this end?
- Finally, we get acceptance… this is happening, now we need to figure out how to move on.
Acceptance is where we empower ourselves. We find control in new habits, washing hands, keeping a safe distance, working in different ways.
When we are feeling grief, it affects us physically. Especially it affects our heart rates and blood pressure. It’s not a surprise when we learn that grief causes heart ache is it?
So now we need to let go of what we can’t control. We can’t control what our neighbours do, only how we keep our distance from them.
And we need to work on compassion as we recognise that everyone has different levels of fear and grief and this affects us all differently.
What is important is recognising how we are feeling and being kind to ourselves. We do need to allow ourselves to feel and a really good way to get through this is to make a list of all the reasons we feel sad, or angry, or afraid or whatever else we may feel.
Be with that feeling and accept that there is a good reason for feeling it. Then you can more on.
If you do need help, please ask but start by listing the issues and beginning to accept your feelings are totally legitimate.
